This is one of the most asked questions when it comes to handling relationships and yet in spite of all the search results, there never seems to be a clear answer. While it is certainly the case that what you say or do is going to be affected by what exactly happened and how she came to know about it, generally speaking there are only so many scenarios you need to cover. Of course, it is worthwhile to mention that the first thing you should be asking if you ever end up in a situation like this is why you ended up with another woman when you already have one in the first place. There’s only so many places where you can work out anything other than a monogamous relationship and generally speaking you want to do that before you knock boots with someone you aren’t currently dating. That having been said, there are some pointers to take into consideration once you’re there.
She Literally Walked in on You with Another Woman
Okay, how bad is this really? By that we mean, did you purposely go searching for Canadian personals site reviews and go out of your way to meet up with someone you met on there? Or is this the result of a Quebec City pub crawl that landed you fairly inebriated in someone else’s bed or bathroom stall? These are two very different situations and need to be handled very carefully. The biggest difference being whether you do something then or wait for her to cool off.
First up, let’s address what you do when she found you sober. The thing is you need to consider why you bothered looking up Canadian personals site reviews in the first place and how much you really want to salvage here. If you are taking the time out of your day to go dig up someone other than the person you’re currently in a relationship with, there has to be a reason. Thrill of the hunt? Not being satisfied in the sexual part of your relationship? Feeling crushed by the expectation of monogamy? Now’s the time to fess up. Well, actually that was two steps ago before you ended up here, but that’s neither here nor there, because she’s found you shacked up with another woman and you need to think fast.
Stop what you are doing, throw some pants on, and go after her. Make sure you at least grab your wallet on the way out, though: who knows where she’s going or what the woman you just left is going to think about all this. Either way, this is something you need to take care of as soon as you possibly can. Try to have a conversation with your girlfriend before she goes anywhere or talks with anyone else. If you want to keep her it’s time to suck up your pride, start with an apology, and do whatever you can to keep her talking. When she asks why, and she will ask, be honest, up front, and don’t accuse her of anything. The last thing you want is for her to get any more defensive than she’s already feeling and chances are she’s already feeling pretty betrayed and flat out angry, so just don’t go there. Explain as much as possible, take the blame and tell her you want to stay with her, that you made a bad decision and want to talk about this again when you’ve both had the time to sort some things out. Don’t expect it will all end with one discussion, either. You’ve broken her trust, expect that will take some time to fix.
There is, of course, the second scenario. For some reason or other, you end up in some bathroom in a Quebec City bar with a pretty girl with her head between your knees and your girlfriend catches wind of it. Maybe you’re not even sure you really saw her, but chances are the alcohol’s already gotten you far enough into thinking poorly that you agreed to this in the first place. The problem here is you won’t be thinking very well, and likely neither is the girl you’re with. On top of that, your girlfriend is emotionally distraught and probably storming out. Thing unfortunate thing here is that it’s probably best to just let her. Your motor skills won’t be coming back any time soon for one, and this really isn’t the sort of discussion you can effectively have while inebriated. So if you have the presence of mind to leave a message or send a text, try an apology, but don’t expect an answer and focus on meeting up with her the next day. Then just follow the same advice as above and you have a chance at keeping everything together. If things don’t go to well, then you can always go online. Check the ratings of top online personals and find the best online personals sites that can help you out.
There were Incriminating Emails, Texts, or Other Correspondence
So you left your browser open when you were searching for Canadian personals site reviews and she made the obvious connections. Now, unless you are legitimately in an industry where this could be some form of research, try not to insult her with poor excuses that obviously aren’t true. Don’t attack her for looking at your computer either. In most cases, it’s pretty hard to avoid seeing what is up on someone’s screen no matter where the computer was left or how it was positioned. First of all, you left whatever incriminating evidence is out there for her to see, so don’t throw it back on her. In the unlikely chance that she actually went looking by way of stealing your phone to go through your text messages or breaking into your email account, or other active measures that actually require her to plan beforehand, don’t just fly off the handle about that either.
The fact of the matter is you did something that goes against the implicit or explicit agreement in your relationship with her and she has a right to be mad about it. If she came across this information because of an invasion of your privacy, then you also have something to be mad with her about. It does not, however, invalidate your own breach of trust. The fact of the matter is you will have to have a discussion with her one way or another if you want to try and work this out. Don’t feel like you can’t take her to task for an invasion of privacy, but make sure you aren’t doing that to the omission of what you did to break her trust. In this case it may even be worthwhile to find a third party arbiter, because things just got pretty complex and you might not be able to work it out on your own.
Whatever You do, Make Sure it’s In Person
“Handle it like a mature adult”
However it happens and whatever reason there is for it coming out at all, do not try to solve it any way but in person. When it comes to emotional appeals, you just will not be able to make them over the phone, in text, or any other form as well as you can in person. Not to mention that anything more impersonal is probably going to put her off of reconciling at all. Just don’t bother with anything but having an in person discussion.